I can't remember who recommended it to me, but I recently read It's a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini. I found this young adult novel, which Vizzini wrote after a 5 day stint in the mental ward of a hospital as a teenager, to be well written and very moving. Personally, I found it hit very close to home.
Today's student (teen or otherwise) gets buried under praise when they do well, scorn when they don't. This leads in many to a drive to succeed, excel, be the best student. This can also lead to a fear of failure. What happens, once these kids move on and realize they aren't the big fish anymore, but only mediocre fish?
Throughout University, and even beyond, I have felt a little let down by life. I was a perfect student, often getting A+'s with very little effort, but I was a constant worrier. My dad once told me, jokingly, that with all the worrying I did I'd get an ulcer. Guess what? Then I just worried about getting an ulcer.
Craig Gilner, the protagonist, comes from a supportive family. The pressure to succeed comes from within. He convinces himself he needs to go to a certain high school, college, lifestyle, and in preparing for the entrance exams he believes will start him on the right course, he alienates himself from most of his classmates, with the exception of Aaron, who is also planning on going to this very elite school.
To celebrate acceptance into the school, they have a party, here Aaron hooks up with Nia, and Craig falls asleep in the corner. Craig tries pot, and over the course of the year becomes a habitual user, and gets more and more overwhelmed by school work and the pressure he puts on himself. He falls behind. He begins to have trouble eating and sleeping, and after admitting to his parents that he might suffer from depression, he starts taking Zoloft and seeing a series of psychiatrists.
It's when Craig accidentally checks himself into the mental illness ward of the local hospital that he starts to put his life into perspective. Over the course of his 5 day stay he makes a few important self-discoveries, and comes out knowing he might not be cured, but understanding a little better what he might need to do to cope and heal (the swift recovery seems a little suspect, but as the author has spent time in such an institution, and I have not, I'm not going to judge his recollections of the time).
How do you explain depression to someone who has never had it? For healthy people, there tends to be 2 lines of thought regarding depression: Snap out of it! Decide not to be depressed anymore, and take charge of your life. The other thought process is one of skepticism. What do YOU have to be depressed about? Everyone goes through tough patches, why should YOU get special treatment?
How do you even discuss your problems with people like that?
Reading this young adult novel made me feel 2 things. Paranoia (if this guy needed to be institutionalized, how far off can I be?) and relief. I am not alone. If I ever hit rock bottom, I know there is a support system, I know there is help available, and if nothing else, I know there is someone else out there that might know what I'm feeling.
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